i'm not peeved!

Yes, I am peeved, that I'm not peeved. Very, very, very ironic. I know. Sure, my overall state of mind is more, uplifted, happier, not as P.O-ed. But damn it, my blog is suffering. If I have nothing to complain about, what is my motivation to write? I think I only write when I'm upset about something. I am not happy about that. But what can you do. Maybe the NYtimes will start up a new column. How mad are you? I can see it now, right between Dear Abbey and the daily crossword. Help me with peeves. Please! I need inspiration.

stella come back!

If any of you have watched the Project Runway tonight, you know, Stella, who I love, got eliminated. It was between her and Joe. I love Joe too, but, Stella has my heart. I may look like a preppy on the outside, but I am so a rebel at heart. And I know that I would have a grand ole time with Stella and her "BF", Ratbones.
He Just looks cool. And WTF with the girl who wasn't Nina? What the hell? I know that they're taking her off, but jeez, at least let her finish the season.

Guns, Germs, and...hence?

So, I have been ever so enthralled in my recent book, Guns, Germs, and Steel, by Jared Diamond. Reason as to why I haven't posted a blog in the past five days, I haven't put it down. I love it. However there is one little caveat. Jared Diamond, finds a way to use the word hence, every, single, paragraph. I don't know how he does it. When ever I write a small essay, I am totally OCD about words being repeated. I don't like to sound like a broken record, even though I have been told I do. Back to the Point. Let me give you a little background on Mr. Diamond. He is Professor of Geography at UCLA, has thirteen published books, was on the New York Times Bestseller, and, and, is a Winner of the Pulitzer Prize. Now, do you really think that I should believe a college professor, prize winner, and bestselling author can't possibly think of another word then, hence? That is just sad. Not a single, ergo, or therefore, no. HENCE! Mr. Diamond, there's this crazy, crazy book that a random guy came up with, think his name was Merriam, or something, called a thesaurus. And, now-in-days, they have a whole website devoted to just thesaurus' and dictionaries. I know, I know, hard to believe, but it's true.

Move on Madge.

Usually I have no problem with Madonna. I give her props. Considering the fact that she's in her fifties and looks this amazing is just a mystery. I wonder if Kabbalah helps? Probably not, Britney practices Kabbalah. Anyways. I think that Miss Ciccone should realize that she's in her fifties has a twelve year old, that could possibly be embarrassed. Now, If my mother was Madge, I'd be cool with that. But then I think of my mother prancing around in a leotard, fishnets, and knee high leather boots, with a microphone in her underwear, I would get a little scared.
Really Madonna? We get it, you're more cut then the average twenty year old. However, sweetie, I must bring up the age thing again. FIFTY! No disrespect to fifty year olds, but she's a special case. Just cause you make a song with Justin Timberlake, doesn't mean you get a time machine. Sorry hun.

Am I the only one who hates commentators?

Commentators. I hate them. At the moment, I am watching Iron Chef: America, and I don't think I have ever hated Alton Brown more. Also, the entire time I watched the Olympics, I wanted to kill the commentators so bad! GAWD(valley girl)! Football also. The whole Steelers vs. Vikings pre-season game today, I wanted to mute. I really really hate commentators. I don't mind a little bit of talking, but it starts to distract me. And then, If I mute it, I miss Jeopardy facts! You wouldn't believe how many questions Jeopardy takes from ESPN.

Rocky Horror Remake? POR QUE?!

Okay all drag queens, trannies, and fans of Susan Sarandon, I am sorry, but they are re-making the cult classic Rocky Horror Picture Show. Not only are they just re-making it, MTV's making. Are you kidding me? What does MTV know about Rocky Horror? Has every one of their employers been de-virginized? No, I don't think so. And, get this, Tim Curry isn't even scheduled to be in it? If Tim Curry isn't doing it who could possibly be an adequate replacement? I can only think of Rupaul. But, baby, if Rupaul did it, would Mr. Curry as we know it disappear? I shall not stand for this. I'm either going to be starring in this movie, or boycotting it. Haven't decided yet. Very difficult decision for me. Oh, I remeber when I got de-virginized. I got up on stage, and I was told to get on my knees while the "reverend" poured whipped cream into my mouth, followed by a maraschino cherry. Luckily my friend was behind me, so it wasn't awkward when she had to eat the cherry out of my mouth. Oh! And I had to bend over and sing twinkle twinkle little star while multiple people slapped my ass, multiple times. After that I was sent to my seat, while my friend was up there with about four other people having to fake an orgasm. Ah. Memories.

Kim Vo...Er, No.

If any of you watch Shear Genius on Bravo, you know Kim Vo. Again. I touch on the fact that he could scare a small child, if not a full grown person.
Look at it. LOOK AT IT! I know its a terrible sight, but I really would like to ask, how does this man get action?? My gay-dar says he's gay, but then again, my gay-dar isn't the most reliable. I have a pretty strong hunch though. Still, how would any man want that? I'm not a man, so I wouldn't know, but damn. Oh, and just a suggestion, Kim Vo, STOP GETTING PLASTIC SURGERY. At least no more lip plump or botox. For the common good, please don't. And the fact that he does Britney Spears' hair, creeps me out even more. What is wrong with you Kim Vo? What is wrong? In my personal opinion, any relation to a one Britney Spears, should be hidden under all circumstances. Not something I would walk around boasting.

ALEX....TREBEK! "thank you Johnny Gilbert"

I myself am a Wheel Watcher, and have been for a while. So occasionally I would catch the half hour episode of Jeopardy! after wards. Slowly but surly I started getting very, very addicted. Alex Trebek, a seemingly normal guy. However in the past few seasons, Mr. Trebek appears to be acting differently. After the first break, when he interviews the contestants, he's starting to be funny. ALEX, don't try to be funny. It doesn't work. And another thing, he's Canadian. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the Canadians as much as the next person. However, now I really do feel like a stupid American. Alex Trebek was my only hope! I figured, that if an American could pop out an Alex Trebek again, then we could redeem ourselves. But no. Alex Trebek is Canadian, and not only that his father is Ukranian. UKRANIAN. A Ukraninan immigrant. Damn I feel stupid.

suede. nuff' said.

So if any of you are fellow Project Runway watchers you know Suede. Now aside from the fact that this season is totally BOTCHED! Suede is extra special. His designs are mediocre, and what he turns out onto the runway, while not my cup of tea, its not the worst thing I've seen. Then I listen to him speak. HE TALKS IN 3RD PERSON. What? Yes, he talks in 3rd person. No one should ever talk in 3rd person. No reason. I don't see it. Project Rungay, a fellow blogspot-er, share my thoughts on Suede, and so does certain members of my PR watcher family. Not that he isn't cool enough or not a good enough designer, but Suede? Have you always spoke in 3rd person? Or just since camera's started following you around. Well, I want to know what Suede thinks.

oh!
Michael Phelps update.
i'm starting to just get a little sick of him.
they're making a movie about his life! Are you kidding me? The olympics aren't even over, and its already in the works. Does Mark Spitz even have a movie about his life? A fun fact for ya. My grandmother went to school with Mr. Spitz. He signed her yearbook and she says they were good friends, but she could be lying.

pheobe. price.

Who is this girl? Is she the new Kardashian? Except creepy. I am actually addicted to the E! show Keeping up with the Kardashians. I think its funny as hell. But Pheobe Price. She randomly shows up at clubs and events wearing the weirdest of things. Okay....tell me that the picture below doesn't scare you, or wouldn't scare a young child.
Seriously people? I am a very frequent viewer of Go Fug Yourself. I love it. Its where I got this picture from. The writers are so funny and very on point. This girl is creepy. And I do mean creepy. Make your skin crawl creepy. She's at the Teen Choice Awards. I believe a seven year old Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus fan spotted her and cried! Just a thought. I like to come up with stories. Sorry if you like her, but really? When I first noticed Miss Price, I decided to do a little research, and TMZ was very helpful. Apparently she's a has been European model, and she's not even European! I don't know what to do with her. But hey, the media's getting tired of young hollywood's drama, Pheobe Price gives them some one to laugh at. Do you laugh at P. Price?

my frickin cat's in heat.

Yep. You heard me. My cat's in heat. The weirdest thing, shes fixed! I'm sorry, spayed. To all those politically correct people out there. My cat, Jane, is crazy. We got her spayed because she went into heat before. Apparently they can still do it! She just sits around with her butt in the air, calling for this white tomcat who lurks around our balcony. Any suggestions? All are welcomed. We even gave her a cold shower. It did not work. She just clawed a lot of people. My dad some how got her claw actually hooked underneath his skin. It wasn't pretty.

chinese gymnast's age.

Alrighty. I know that the chinese gymnasts look young however, there are many things that I can say to support the opposite. The only thing that seems a little fishy to me about them is that they all are exactly sixteen. All of em? Really? You think that the coach could've at least made it more believable by making some of them seventeen or fifteen, or something. All I know is that, I know a seventeen year old who looks like she's twelve. And something else I noticed about those girls is the fact that they are way to developed to be under fifteen. Those girls are working out every day hours on end, and probably with enough food, but not enough to fill out a bra. If you worked out every day, as intensively as they do, my boobs would be gone. Completely. So there's that. And the other thing is that no one can do anything about it. They have already passed all the customs and such, already been in competitions and won medals. Bob Costas, do you honestly think that you are going to take the medals from the chinese? Do you Bob? Do you? What about you?

michael phelps.

Okay. So. Michael Phelps. Now I know that it is very hard to dislike this guy. However, I have found a way. I myself have no problem with Michael Phelps himself. Well, strike that. I don't exactly love the fact that he listens to rap on his iPod, and that rap does not include Beastie Boys or TuPac. Sorry Michael if you do have them on your iPod, Yahoo told me different. However I do love the part of him that is a total momma's boy, and he adore's his amazing english bulldog (who is as cute as can be), and plus he went to U of M. Okay, so he's not all that bad. Then there's the fact that the media has started making it seem that, when the world comes to an end, Michael Phelps is going to save us all. BLINDFOLDED. Incase you missed it he swam an event and his goggles filled up with water, and he still set a fricken world record. Wow, he really can do it all. Either Michael Phelps is a fish, or a modern day Clark Kent. You tell me.