Bahumbug!

This particular post is not in accordance to, or support of someone disliking, or trying to ruin Christmas. In fact, I absolutely support the holidays in all of its bloodsucki-ness. Now, like all of you, I am fully aware of how people like to say how Christmas is a holiday in which the retail business have a ball and throw guilt and good deals at people, but I actually don't care. You see, I feel as if that lends Christmas some of its charm. It lets all the adults of the family act like they are intelligent and know what they're talking about, because they actually think that they do. What I especially love about Christmas is the cheesiness of it all. Isn't that what Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Solstice, well, maybe not Solstice, is all about? We use these holidays as excuses to leave work, school, etc., and basically have a huge gathering of people who we share the same genes. I guess I just don't see why people have to put a downer on something that we all loved when we were kids, and now that we're adults, we have to be adult about it. And when we have to be adult about something, we default in to looking down upon everything that made us happy when we were younger, because when we were young we were stupid.

Screw that. Give me one example of when you were a kid acting stupid, that you didn't have fun.
Being a kid is awesome! That's what I love about holiday's. You get to bring out your inner child.
So @#$% you Scrooges!

speidi??? who are they again?

Oh thats right. They're that obnoxious couple from that one show on that one channel. I mainly refer to them as "Flesh colored beard man" and the other one, coined by none other than Joel McHale. Sadly they actually have names. I guess that kind of proves that they are human, note the kind of. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are as follows:

I am convinced that these two people should not be allowed to interact with small children. I have no doubt that another sentence uttered from one of these idiots mouths would make a crocodile shed tears, seriously. These people are so f%#*ing annoying that E! News won't even report on them. And we all know what a journalism whore E! News is (Damn you Ryan Seacrest and your frosted tips that went out of style in the late 90's). 

Now mainly I hate Heidi Montag because I really don't feel bad for her as most people do. You see its Spencer I feel bad for. I honestly believe he was just born this way and no treatment(including electric shock therapy) could fix this wretched man. Now Miss Montag on the other hand repeatedly just opens her mouth, and shit falls out. This morning I was watching The View(Yes, that The View, we can talk about my guilty pleasure later. And for the record, I only really watch "Hot Topics"), and the girls brought up the fact that a one Heidi Montag stated that women can cry their way out of anything, and use tears to get a head in life. 

I have one thing to say......YOU SUCK HEIDI MONTAG! 

Yeah. 

Sorry for my long intro to one statement. Yet, I feel as if you all agree with me. And if you don't, I don't really care. 

Public Transportation Etiquette

Really people? Doesn't everyone know the rule of PTE? For some reason people feel as if they can pour there heart out to me. Little did they know that I like to post the poured heart all over this web page. Just the other day, I hoped on the bus and there was not really any available room to sit down. However a girl, who I'm guessing is a total tweaker, asked me to sit next to her, for she had a been sitting on two seats. She moved over. Without wasting anytime she informed me that the reason she asked me to take the seat beside her was to prevent odd men from sitting next to her. Well the men who were standing in front of us were clean, quite good looking, and quiet. Did I mention quiet. I did catch a couple of pity looks from the man who wasn't listening to his iPod. For twenty minutes we had, for the most part, a one way conversation about, how college is the same as high school but with cigarettes, and the debate on whether on her way to get her prescription she should also drop by target and get pants that were on sale. Apparently the pants the woman was wearing were stolen by another woman and when they were finally returned to their rightful owner, the woman found holes in them. Oh god forbid a pair of cotton sweat pants got a couple cigarette burns in them. I understand that they might not be pouring her heart out to me, but this other dude, a few days before this incident was telling me how he found out that day, that his girlfriend was cheating on him. Seriously man? Did you really think I needed to know that. More importantly, what did you think I could do about it? Did you think I could call her and tell her she was crazy? Tell her you're crazy and she should have dumped your ass months ago? 

Wow, I really didn't think I was going to go into that much detail. Forgive my run-on sentence. With that said, people please respect the PTE. Just be courteous I guess. Would you want people striking up a conversation with you? If yes, well, I'm sorry to all you sit next to. 

Kanye, you're a f*%#ing douche!

Lets start off with this. If you have not been informed of Kanye West's major douche-eness, then you shall be filled with the information now. He is a grade A dirt bag.

Article number 1:

He publicly made a statement saying that his influence is the modern day equivalent of Jesus' impact on the world. 

Yep, you heard right. He just frickin compared himself to the almighty. Now, I'm not saying I'm a bible-thumper or anything, but seriously, thats just disrespectful.

Article numero dos:

At the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, he was a utter asswipe(excuse my french). After the ever so sweet Taylor Swift won for best Female Video, she went up on stage, accepted her award, and, wait for it, he stole the mic out of her hand, MID SPEECH! He stole the mic to state how amazing Beyonce's video was, totally demeaning Miss Swifts. I thought Taylor was going to cry. I hate this man.

Please, judge wisely on whether you choose to admire this pathetic person. 

Sorry for my heartless rant. I felt it needed to be done. The public needs to be informed. Now you know. 

Best wishes :)

The Recently Deceased.

I'd like to start off with the fact that I am not actually peeved with the recently deceased, its just the suddenness of all of it, if you will. We can start off with Natasha Richardson who passed in March, then Bea Arthur in April. And of course, in June, Michael Jackson died as everyone is fully aware, and three days later Billy Mays died. Infomercials just aren't the same anymore. Oh! We're not done in June. We can't forget about Ed Mc Mahon, Farrah Fawcett(we love you Farrah!) and David Carradine, who died in an, interesting manner, but nonetheless, passed on. And two weeks later in July, Walter Cronkite. And lets not forget about Frank McCourt, author of Angela's Ashes who died two days following Cronkite. Then there's Steve McNair and his horrible murder. The list goes on and on, including Ted Kennedy, John Hughes, Nick Adenhart, and most recently DJ AM. 

I'm really not just trying to list this to sound morbid, though I know I am. It's just that, doesn't it seem as everyone is dropping like flies? Who knows, maybe everyone has been dropping like flies forever and I'm just noticing it. Hopefully Death will hold off for a while. Probably not, but hey its nice to kid ourselves once and a while.   :) 

Why Everything Sucks....

Craig Ferguson has just done my job for me.



I may not agree with the whole...you know, everything sucks bit. But I follow his thought process.

I'm Back!/The John and Kate thing.

Alrighty every body! I'm back. After a good encouraging push from my friends Christine and Jean, I have decided to come back to my blog. I know that I was incognito for a while, but, no need to worry, I found my love again! So I thought I'd bring it all back with a little not-so-fresh material, but I feel as if this needs to be adressed.

John and Kate Gosselin:



First things first. Do we really care that much? Do we really care so much about the lives of this pathetic little ex-couple? I know I don't, at least not enough to fixate over them and read ever column ever written about them in People magazine. Okay, so maybe I do that, but never intentionally. I am just an avid People reader and they happen to be in every issue! What concerns me is how everyone reacts to there reactions. For example: Kate appeared on The Today Show and spoke with Meredith Viera. E! News specifically made a ridiculously large issue about how Kate became "emotional" in the interview. Now tell me Ryan Seacrest, if your secret husband which everyone knows you have broke up with you publicly and ran off with a woman half your age, you'd be damn emotional too! Oh not to mention you'd have all those damn kids to take care of. Who knows maybe she's pregnant. Oh! I feel a plot twist coming in their scripted reality life.